A girl and her boobs go traveling

Hello, everyone. I received a question a few weeks ago that got me thinking and NO, I didn't hurt myself. A reader asked me if I thought that all of the free stuff I get when traveling is because of my looks. My immediate answer was no, silly, they give me stuff because I am a travel agent and I write about travel. It's not really free stuff, more of a bribe. But is it???? In mentioning this to other agents I found that I do indeed seem to get more than my usual share. So I started take note of things. I realized that when I wore a particular low cut shirt, I always got free things. Then it dawned on me, it really wasn't me at all, it was the boobs. We always hear about how a nice rack can get a girl anything she wants. The movie Erin Brockovich brought this theory into a whole new light a few years back. I read about a study today on plastic surgery; breast augmentation is the most widely performed surgery in the USA. Gee, no surprise there. The return on your investment makes them well worth the money. You know, big boobs equals free stuff. In the travel world this can mean faster service, free upgrades, better rooms, better cars and "complementary" everything.

In my 20's the "girls" seemed to open a lot of doors for me. Now in my naiveté I always assumed it was my intellect or charm that got me to the right people and places. A few years and a bit of growing up, I've learned that's a load of bull. It was the boobs. Having a large chest does not automatically assign power to the owner, you must have the rest of the package and know how to use it. Sorry if this sounds harsh but ugly fat girls can have a chest the size of Texas and get nowhere. Also it does not matter how real they look either. Anyone seen any recent photos of Victoria (Posh) Beckham lately? She looks like she has two baseballs glued to her bony body. Take Pamela Anderson, a woman who's name is synonymous with silicone. We all know they aren't real, they don't look real but no one cares. She's got that whole package that men seem to like. Oh, and the fact that they are enormous.

As I have gotten older, I don't put the "girls" on display as much as I used to. I'm very big on the whole age appropriate thing when it comes to clothing. Just because I am in my mid 30's does not mean that I can't be sexy, but I don't want to look like a prostitute either. Several of my friends and colleagues are at least 10 years younger and I have no problem holding my own. Anyone see that show recently called "Age of Love"? It features a washed out 31 year old tennis player named Mark Philippoussis. He has to find love from a pool of 20 women. Half are gorgeous, athletic, intelligent, educated , successful women with great personalities and bodies to match in their 40's. The other half are slightly attractive, dumb, unexciting crybabies in their 20's who all seem to be on a gold digging expedition. The odds are stacked well in the favor of the older gals. So who will he pick? Will age matter? That's easy, he'll pick the one with the biggest chest , he is foreign after all.

Speaking of foreigners…. As I mentioned above, breast augmentation is the most widely performed surgery in the USA. They do perform this in other countries but not nearly on the scale of the USA. American girls are known for their large bust sizes. Baywatch was the most popular show around the world for many years after all. If you have ever gone clothing shopping in Europe this point is driven home in the dressing room. All of the tops are too small. I travel in Europe several weeks each year. Trust me when I say that I am not going for the weather. The men on the other hand are a much better climate over there. Europeans in general are NOT known for their exemplary customer service skills. Surprisingly when ever I have needed assistance they fall all over each other trying to help me. It's as if they have never been that close to anything larger than an A cup before. Even the French, notoriously the nastiest of them all, appear to soften at the sight on an ample bosom.

In actuality I am really not that big, only a 34C ( most common bra size in the USA). My secret? Wear a good bra. The older you get the meaner mother gravity becomes. If you find that a good bra is not enough then do what our mothers did in the 50's and fill them up. Note to all the blondes out there: Please do not forget to take the tissues out of the box before stuffing your bra.

All right, the whole boob thing might be a bit out there but there is a point here I am trying to make. Back in the 50's when our mother's were stuffing their bras, the traveling public "dressed" for the occasion. Taking an airline, ship or train trip was a grand occasion and people took care to look their best. Think about the last flight you took. With the exception of the few business travelers, all of the women were wearing sweats. Most look like they just crawled out of bed. If you read my column regularly you know how I feel about cruises these days. The term "floating trailer park" is justly appropriate for some lines. The excuse they all use is that they just want to be comfortable. There is a difference between comfortable and just plain lazy.

A well groomed, well dressed traveler is simply going to get better service and attention than a slovenly dressed one. I learned this in college. I wore a skirt or dress almost every day to class. I rarely wore jeans and NEVER wore sweatpants or pajamas. Why? 3 reasons. Some days I went directly from class to my job which was in the fashion industry and required me to dress well. Other days I either had meeting with one of the different organizations I belonged to and needed to be well dressed and groomed. Lastly I did it because I felt a shabby appearance was disrespectful to my professors. I took pride in myself and I did not want to be classed with all of the other "slobs" walking around. I noticed that in every class I ever had, there was never ever an empty seat next to me. My professors singled me out for "good attention" while giving negative attention to sloppily dressed students.

You can take that scenario and translate it to many things in life especially the travel business. Look around. How many sweat suits do you see getting free upgrades? So ladies, next time you take a trip remember what I have said. You don't need to put on a prom dress but take a bit of care in your appearance and see where it gets you. To those of you that already do, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about.